I know you’ve been there.
On your path, being as true to yourself as you possibly can be, making fierce, powerful decisions.
And then, when someone doesn’t agree with your decision — about action forward, or calling them out, or removing yourself from their presence or some situation — you are told you’re being “emotional” or “unstable.”
The audacity is remarkable, isn’t it?
I make powerful decisions, and I make them quickly, and I am all in.
But I will turn on a goddamn dime if my gut says “abort mission.”
My intuition is the only thing that has never let me down. Truly.
And for as long as I can remember, people (okay, men — mostly men, and an occasional ridiculously insecure woman) who either didn’t like my choice or felt intimidated by my confidence in the choice, would say I was “being emotional” or “unstable.”
Our intuition — our real genius — defies reason. Often, following our intuition does not initially lead directly to the outcome we are seeking. It’s not supposed to. It does, however, take into account all of the things we’ve learned along our path. So while it may defy the reason of the moment, it does take some “reasoning” into account.
Nothing infuriates me more than another human trying to manipulate or control another human. Not only has society in general tried to train us out of using our genius, but controlling and manipulative people close to us do their very best to dissuade us from using it, too.
Because they know if we do use it and follow it, we won’t entertain their bs for long.
To navigate when the gaslighting happens, I would say that you can point to all of the powerful men in the world who make seemingly snap decisions and that regardless of how it works out they are revered for it.
Like, you know, Einstein. Spielberg. Jobs. Tesla. They were successful, sure, but they had “failures,” too.
But no.
That’s not the power move.
>>> The power move is refusing to engage in any kind of defense. <<<
You do not owe anyone — NOT ANYONE — any explanation for why you made a decision. And you can say that directly.
“In my defenselessness my safety lies.” — A Course In Miracles.
When you remain defenseless, you do several things:
1 Stay in your power (calm and collected)
2 Refuse to give any energy to the bs comments or questions (which will make them eventually dissipate, or that person will float out of your experience — fantastic)
3 Reinforce using your intuition, because it defies momentary reason and doesn’t require an explanation
Also, do NOT question your stability or sanity.
Question how the other person can be so close-minded (and likely miserable) so as to never follow their intuition.
But only stay in that questioning for a hot second. Then, get back to your mission.
With love,
Melissa
PS. If you do feel the need to back up your intuitive move, trust the evidence will follow. Trust that you will be aware of whatever “facts” are needed to provide even a little support. Or. Just say “my gut is saying this is the right way to go” and eff any further explanation.
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