“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.”
Brian Tracy
This isn’t just about letting go of things that have already ended. It’s also about releasing the hold on things we wish would end, but somehow can’t seem to release.
Imagine how freeing it would feel to stop channeling energy into situations that no longer serve you. Instead of talking about what’s dragging you down, shift your focus.
It’s imperative to stop fueling the unwanted with complaints, and start nourishing what we’d prefer to live.
If you are in a relationship that you know needs to end, get out.
I know it can seem impossible, but I promise you, it’s not. I’ve experienced this first hand, with extremely difficult and frightening circumstances. I had to navigate financial difficulty, not having a place to live for me and my children for five weeks, and a nasty court battle.
What kept me going was setting my intention to create a wonderful life for me and my children – without the threat of emotional and mental abuse and betrayal.
The one realization that made all the difference was this: it all started with me.
Before I could truly be free from that relationship, I had to stop watering the dead damn plant! Any energy I put into fighting, rather than creating the life I wanted to be living, was wasted energy.
Any issues that arise will be so much better handled if you refuse to give them direct energy and instead, focus on the solution you want.
It’s even better if you focus on creating a long-term vision for your life and begin taking steps to get there.
That will naturally incorporate dealing with things the toxic ex throws your way – but on YOUR terms.
Stop watering the dead plants and start watering the seeds within you that you want to see grow.
Here’s how to start:
1 Determine what you really want to pursue.
How do you want to FEEL? What kinds of situations bring that feeling out in you? How can you seek more of those kinds of situations? In work? In play? Go after that feeling in a healthy, intentional way.
2 Recognize when you are watering the dead plants.
Sometimes we allow our focus to slip. We’ll hear a song or see something that pulls us back into the memory of the damn dead plant and we allow ourselves to stay stuck there. It’s okay to feel all the feelings. It’s critical that you do. Just don’t stay stuck there. When you find yourself focusing on the things you want to be rid of in your life, honor your focus quickly and then redirect it.
3 Be deliberate with your attention.
We all slip now and then, and to combat that you have to be prepared. The best way to be prepared is to deliberately focus your attention ahead of time. What do you want to be creating? What do you want to be pursuing? Place your focus there on purpose. And keep redirecting your focus there any time it sways.
You have so much to offer to yourself and to the world.
With love,
Melissa