Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken. – Albert Camus
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. – Seneca
I have had a difficult time letting go of my ex-husband. We did the separation – back together – nope separated – love each other – divorce – still love each other dance for a long time. Truth be told, we still do it. I’ve realized though, that I don’t have to stop that dance… I don’t have to “let go” in order to move on. Our relationship has changed. But that doesn’t mean I have shut it out and shut it down in order to move forward.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It means moving past the hold something has over you.
But what is the hold something has over you?
What does that really entail?
All of the memories…the wish that it would have worked out differently…the what-if it could be different in the future.
We don’t ever let go. We move forward. We come to understand that someone or something has been integrated in our lives. Integrated. Not dismissed.
Integration comes only after enough introspection, enough memory-dancing, enough goodbyes.
There will come a point when you are on the fence, with one foot planted firmly on the freedom-from side and the other foot still lightly touching the ground in the must-let-go territory.
(There’s the Tweetspot! ^^^ Tweet it out!)
You don’t have to move that second foot into freedom until you are damn good and ready. Because truly, if you move it too soon, it won’t matter anyway. The Universe knows you aren’t ready. You can fake being ready, sure. You can pretend that you’ve moved past something. But that’s not going to help you.
There’s a big difference between fake-it-til-you-make-it and faking yourself out.
Fake-it-til-you-make-it means there’s already a part of you that believes you are ready for whatever it is you want to become.
When you are faking yourself out, you’re still holding on and shaming yourself for it.
That keeps you stuck in pause mode. Acknowledge that you are on the fence. DANCE ON THE FREAKING FENCE. This is where I am, world! I’m on this fence and imma reap it for all it’s worth! There are lessons on that fence. This is where you learn what you will tolerate and what you won’t. This is where you learn to have the firmest of footholds in your own truth. You can only know what you do want when you know what you don’t want. So the fence is THE PERFECT PLACE to figure that out.
Be okay with being on the fence.
Understand that you will know when it’s time to move to the freedom-from side of the fence.
Recognize that you will never truly let go, but integrate and move forward.
Love yourself enough to give yourself all the time it takes to let that happen.
Know that the more freedom you give yourself to dance on the fence, the faster you’ll be able to move to the freedom-from side.
With love and light,
What has been your experience with letting go? Start the conversation in the comments below!
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