Shadow work is heavily touted in some corners of the coaching community. It is not the mysterious and daunting practice some people make it out to be. (That’s marketing hype, but I won’t get into that today).
Shadow work is simply this:
Uncovering the dominant story you are telling yourself about yourself and about how life gets to show up for you that is keeping you stuck.
That’s literally it.
It is NOT, however, digging in the wound. Far too often, coaches/therapists/well meaning friends will have you digging in the wound, thinking that if you can just get to the core you can solve everything.
That is not true.
The solution is already present — your job is to allow it in. You do this by moving forward and whatever arises to “heal” (shift perception about) you can address as it arises.
The important piece to note is that you must allow yourself to honor the reason you continue to tell that story. The story and how life is playing out is rewarding to you in some way.
Yes, even the things you claim you’d like to change.
I ran a Choose It to Change It Workshop in my group The Fierce Sisterhood a while back where the participants dove into allowing themselves to admit they were choosing things that didn’t serve their ultimate goals but that for whatever reason, the story was rewarding to them. Perhaps it was providing support, or safety, or comfort.
The key is to remain curious and nonjudgmental about it all.
And the beauty of this is that once you shine the light of awareness on the story, you can easily shift it.
With love,
Melissa